Rough DAys

 The Covid Crap is going on right now. 

Everything is on pins and needles. We are in a totally torn society. Both sides are fighting for us. Both sides are sincerely concerned about our well being. 

Both sides have doctors, lawyers, who have data about why you should or shouldn't get the vaccine.

Its very frustrating as the media pushes vaccines, but the other media does not. 

In my lifetime this  has been the worst faught over issue. 

The stress of my wife working double shifts in the nursing home because of constant quitters, scared people and just flat out lazy people in their jobs, is causing havoc  emotionally in our home. 

WIth 2 kids she want so badly to be home with (cannot because of debt), to almost losing my job over the pandemic, is showing where both our attetions are pointed at. 

Mine is more a provider mentallity, hers is helping and the kids.

Its freaking crazy. 

Update: 1-26-23

A new company has taken over my wifes work place. At first they wined and dined the employees. Telling the ones that were there how better it would be for them, etc. 

Only she got another chauvinistic non understanding manager.  Different gender, same ol crap. no raises, no benefits of staying there. her mentality is slowly getting worse. 

Id love for her to venture out in her own job, but the discipline would need to be there. 

I know she has such great potential in her job, but ever since covid crap......no one wants to work. 

as the army cadence goes, here we go again same old song again. Through the chaos I found myself being drawn closer to searching Gods word which I did not expect that. But questions are and truths I thought I knew, needed backed up. 

Thanks a lot TOdd friel. lol. love ya brother. 

 

God and life.

Today I got home and was reading some scripture.
Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Mathew 18:3
So what does it mean to become like a child?
I look at my ten month old. I see how happy she is to see mommy and yeah...sometimes daddy..lol. I see her when she goes to grandmas house. All giggly and smiles. Always full of life.
Another bible says have faith like a child.
So what does a child's faith look like.?
My wife and I decided or should I say Grace decided she wants to sleep with mommy and Daddy. And I have no problem with this. MOST of the time. Like when she actually sleeps.  Sometimes we wait for mommy to come into the room and if I don't hold her back...she'd run right off the bed...and by run I mean crawl...even though she does walk by herself..lol.
She crawls and doesn't look where she is because she doesn't need to. She knows mommy will save her at the end of the bed. Every time without question.
Is that the faith we need? Do we need to be more like children in the sense of wonder they have about everything?
When they have a booboo and mommy kisses it it feels all better. Without question. It just does.
That's the faith we should have. That's the faith we need. The faith that God Will Provide. The faith that God's Will in our lives is to make us better. The faith that he will catch you before you fall. No matter what. And if you do get booboos along the way...they'll feel better after the father kisses it.

grace

Once upon a time, or at least that's how most stories go.
Grace your going to be growing up in a technologically advanced civilization more then what your mother and I had. I want you to know some things. Number one, seek out the truth. your mother and I strongly believe in God. Not because we were brought up that way either. You see when i was in the army I went to a lot of different religious churches. some of those churches were not what you might expect. This one church i went to, with your mother, and your grandparents, was quite a shock to us all. Lets just say we looked like an inside out dalmatian: all black with one white spot smack dab in the middle of the congregation.
But they were so happy to have us there. And nothing suffocates you more then a happy hefty African american lady squeezing the life out of you kinda hug.
Another church I went to by myself was interesting as well. Everyone was so happy and cheerful. they talked about the universe and spirits, and it was then that i found out i was in a Wiccan meeting....GULP..
okay back to seeking the truth. You are going to grow up with an evolution mindset society. Everywhere you look you will be blasted with the evolution THEORY. Theory is all it is but everyone is talking like its fact. I want you to look at that carefully. Because as of right now my sweet sweet child, there has been no fossil evidence, no transformation from one species to another, NOTHING at all. yet society has been brainwashed into thinking there is. In fact most calculations, fossil evidence, archaeological findings, historical documents, etc, all point back to the Bible or texts from the Bible.
Evolutionist say that religious people bury their heads when it comes to facts and and do not want to hear what they want to say. I'm writing this because I have listened to them because I want to know the truth for myself. And the more I listen to them, the more realize we agree on the same point: we came from nothing. As a believer in God, we came from God creating us out of nothing.
here we differ. you see, evolution believes we are here by mere chance. Its funny because Hawkins, a brainiac said he believes we came from nothing, the big bang per say. and he also believes we are the only ones out there in the universe( in a ted talk) hmmm, we are here by chance, no signs of life outside our planet, an incalculable chance. that seems a bit far feched. the perfect storm of conditions just happen to create pond scum, which then after billions and billions of years became us, an intelligent, emotional creatures. think about that one. think about dna, think about the machine code written in us, think about all the different creatures all over the world. think about the entire creation we live in. and think about if its all for nothing, or if we were made for a purpose.
I love you grace. You are my daughter which I honestly could never fathom with all the chaos in life.

5 months old already!?!?!

The laughing and crying. The goofiness when you're tired. The love I see between you and mommy. The happiness I feel when I sneak into the room and you see me and start grinning from ear to ear.
You are such an amazing child. Your mother and I are so Happy. My Ears are not so happy sometimes. Yesterday you started your happy squealing. Just smiling and squealing. Its cute but painful..lol.  The pitch of your squeal is to high it vibrates the eardrums. Just something cute that i want you to know year from now. We love you. I think its funnier when Grandma gets you and you do it alll dayyyy longggg. ...lol.....Grandpa has to leave the room.

Wife and Daughter

Wife, you are the most amazing person I know. And now we have someone new in our lives. 

I would have never guessed how i would feel about being a dad. Now I have two girls to take care of. Its overwhelming at times but worth it. God loves you both. You both are beautiful and I thank him everyday that he allows me to live and be with you. I am truly blessed.

To My wife

To my wife. Even though you may never see this blog, I want you to know how very special you are to me. Through the bad times and good you've always been there. Through our courtship, friendship, and marriage you have always been by my side and I yours. You make me smile a lot and I'm so happy you're in my life.  I know I tell you a lot but a lot of times my words do not come easily to me in the verbal form. We've  had so many adventures in life together and I look forward to many more.
This Blog will be for you , and all the little things i can still remember we have done together. through thoughts and through pictures.
Our next adventure in life will begin in a few weeks and I know its going to put a toll on our stress levels due to finances, but I will not give up. Life's too short to give up. Im only now starting to grasp that concept now.
I love you always, Brian